Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
skip to main |
skip to sidebar
About Me
- DillmanScience
- A teacher whose love and enthusiasm for science shines through onto his students
Design by: FinalSense
Q: What did the post doctorate study when he changed fields from particle physics to geology?
ReplyDeleteA: Earthquarks
Why does hamburger have lower energy than steak? Because it's in the ground state.
ReplyDeleteProbably a bit corny, but I thought it was funny.
Chris Acevedo
3rd Period
What do you do with a dead chemist?
ReplyDeleteBarium.
(http://www.badum-tish.com/)
Two men walk in a bar. The first ordered H2O. The second one says 'sounds good. I'll have some H2O too.' The second man died.
ReplyDeleteDo you have any sodium hypobromite? NaBrO.
I would make another chemistry joke but all the good ones Argon.
Did you hear about the biologist who had twins? She baptized one and kept the other as a control.
ReplyDeletestudent: If your brain stops working, do you die?
ReplyDeleteteacher: Well you're still alive, aren't you?
teacher: What is H2O?
student: water.
teacher: What is H2O4?
student: to drink.
Where does a one legged waitress work? The Ihop
ReplyDeleteKayla Sanderson 4th prd
Q: What did one lab rat say to the other?
ReplyDeleteA: "I've got my scientist so well trained that every time I push the buzzer, he brings me a snack.
One day the zoo-keeper noticed that the orang-utan was reading two books - the Bible and Darwin's The Origin of Species. In surprise he asked the ape, "Why are you reading both those books"?
"Well," said the orang-utang, "I just wanted to know if I was my brother's keeper or my keeper's brother."
A farmer was busy milking one of his cows. He was just starting to get a good rhythm going when a small bug flew into the barn and started circling his head. Suddenly, the bug flew into the cow's ear. The farmer didn't think much about it, until the bug squirted out into his milk pail. It went in one ear and out the udder.
ReplyDelete-Hope this pertains to science enough. Hah.
A frog went to visit a fortune teller. "What do you see in my future?" asked the frog.
ReplyDelete"Very soon," replied the fortune teller. "you will meet a pretty young girl who will want to know everything about you."
"That's great!" said the frog, hopping up and down excitedly. "But when will I meet her?"
"Next week in science class." said the fortune teller.
Two planets meet. The first one asks: “How are you?”
ReplyDelete“Not so well”, the second answered “I’ve got the Homo Sapiens.”
“Don’t worry,” the other replied, “I had the same. That won’t last long.”
http://green-buzz.net/environment/10-environmental-jokes/
Two planets meet. The first one asks: “How are you?”
ReplyDelete“Not so well”, the second answered “I’ve got the Homo Sapiens.”
“Don’t worry,” the other replied, “I had the same. That won’t last long.”
http://green-buzz.net/environment/10-environmental-jokes/
Q: What is the fastest way to determine the sex of a chromosome?
ReplyDeleteA: Pull down its genes
Q: How did the English major define microtome on his biology exam?
ReplyDeleteA: An itsy bitsy book.
A microtome is an instrument for cutting very thin sections of tissues
What do you call it when it rains chicken and ducks?
ReplyDeleteFowl Weather! Hahaha
...
Vicki Smith
3rd Period
What did the sea say to the shore?
ReplyDeleteNothing, it just waved.
Jessica Corder
3rd
Have you heard the one about the recycling bin with a sign that said, “Empty water bottles here”?
ReplyDeletePretty soon the bin was full of water.
A cop pulls a car over and asks to see a driver's licence. He looks at it and asks "Dr. Heisenberg, do you know how fast you were going?" Dr. Heisenberg answers, "I have no idea. But I know precisely where I was."
ReplyDeleteLater the cop pulls a second car over, and after looking at the driver's license says "Dr. Schrodinger, I noticed you were driving erratically. Do you mind if I search your car?" Dr. Schrodinger gives him permission. After searching, he comes back to the driver's window. "Dr. Schrodinger, are you aware that there's a dead cat in you trunk?" Dr. Schrondinger says, "Well, there is now."
Q: What is the name of the molecule bunny-O-bunny?
ReplyDeleteA: An ether bunny
http://www.jupiterscientific.org/sciinfo/jokes/chemistryjokes.html
-Destiny J Prd. 4
Q. What does DNA stand for?
ReplyDeleteA. National Dyslexics Association
~Megan Kellum
4th Period
what do you call an alligator wearing a vest?!?
ReplyDeleteAN INVESTAGATOR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Have you heard the one about the aluminum recycling plant?
ReplyDeleteIt smelt.
Deep within a forest a little turtle began to climb a tree. After hours of effort he reached the top, jumped into the air waving his front legs and crashed to the ground. After recovering, he slowly climbed the tree again, jumped, and fell to the ground.
ReplyDeleteThe turtle tried again and again while a couple of birds sitting on a branch watched his sad efforts. Finally, the female bird turned to her mate.
"Dear," she chirped, "I think it's time to tell him he's adopted."
A mushroom walked into a bar. The bar tender said, "Get out of here! We don't serve your kind." "Hey, what's the problem?" "Just get out of here. We don't serve mushrooms." The mushroom in anguish says, "Why not? I'm a fun guy." Hehehehe
ReplyDelete-keeland (:
What do you get when you cross a frog and a dog?
ReplyDeleteA croaker spaniel.
Gabbi rohn
3rd period
What do you get when you cross a frog and a dog?
ReplyDeleteA croaker spaniel.
Gabbi rohn
3rd period
HOW DO YOU TELL THE SEX OF A CHROMOSOME?
ReplyDeleteYOU PULL DOWN ITS "GENES"!!!
"why is a Neon atom so lonely?"
ReplyDelete"because it's friends argon"
Jay Leno: "Why does dew appear on plants in the morning when the Sun comes up?"
ReplyDeleteA waitress: "Is it because the Sun makes them perspire?"
Q: How did the English major define microtome on his biology exam?
ReplyDeleteA: An itsy bitsy book.
CHAILA.Y
P3
why do chemists call helium, curium and barium the medical elements?
ReplyDeletebecause if you can't helium or curium, you barium!
a neutron walks into a bar and ask how much for a drink. the bartender replys "for you, no charge"
ReplyDeleteAlexandra Volz APES P3
A frog went to visit a fortune teller. "What do you see in my future?" asked the frog.
ReplyDelete"Very soon," replied the fortune teller. "you will meet a pretty young girl who will want to know everything about you."
"That's great!" said the frog, hopping up and down excitedly. "But when will I meet her?"
"Next week in science class." said the fortune teller.
hahahahahahahahahaha!
Q: What was the biologist wearing on his first date with a hot chick?
ReplyDeleteA: Designer jeans.
The teacher says to his chemistry class- "why is a Neon atom so lonely?" pupil says "because it's friends ARGON!!!"
ReplyDeleteWhat should we do with crude oil?
ReplyDeleteA:Teach it some manners of course:)
Q: What did one ion say to the other?
ReplyDeleteA: I've got my ion you.
FATHER: How are your grades, son?
ReplyDeleteSON: Under water, Dad.
FATHER: Under water? What do you mean?
SON: They're below C level
Katie Myers
Period 3
Q: Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
ReplyDeleteA: They're cheaper than day rates.
At the end of the semester, a 10th-grade chemistry teacher asked her students what was the most important thing that they learned in lab. A student promptly raised his hand and said, "Never lick the spoon.
Owyn Pelletier
Two atoms were walking across a road when one of them said, "I think I lost an electron!" "Really!" the other replied, "Are you sure?" "Yes, I 'm absolutely positive."
ReplyDelete-will Hitzhusen